Astraura Welcomes You  

KP Astrology Horoscope

Astraura is one stop site for KP Hindu Vedic Astrology / Horoscope and webmaster freebies. Visit our Home Page.

Portal from Astraura Research Centre

Astrologer Tools

Daily Horoscope,  Jokes, Games, Movies, Books

Webmaster Tools

Cast Horoscope

Cast Horary Chart

Find Your Star and Rasi (Moon Sign)

Find  Longitude and Latitude of Places.

Ephemeris

Change Name to Get Luck

I Ching 

Click here to get the above

Horoscope of all systems  like  Raman, Lahiri, KP can be cast with tools for calculating dasa, aspects, significator tables etc. Panchangam, ephemeris, look up pages for finding longitude and latitude of places  etc. are provided. 

Visit  Astraura

Change Name to get luck - Numerology.

Astraura is one stop site for KP Hindu Vedic Astrology / Horoscope and webmaster freebies. Visit our site for  Astraura Horoscope and Astrology.


 

Submit a Joke | nLatest Jokes | nSearch | nPopular Jokes | nAnimal Jokes | nBar Jokes | nBattle Of Sexes | nBlonde Jokes | nCelebrity Jokes | nCollege Jokes | nComputer Jokes | nDaily Life | nEthnic Jokes | nLawyer Jokes | nLight Bulb Jokes | nMisc Jokes | nNerd Jokes | nOne Liners | nPolitical Jokes | nProfessionals Jokes | nRelationships Jokes | nReligion Jokes | nR Rated Jokes | nSports Jokes | nWorkplace Jokes | n

Top | Misc Jokes | Innocent looking old lady

An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma\'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I\'d give it to you but I don\'t have
one.
Officer: Don\'t have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see... Can I see your vehicle
registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can\'t do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the
owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in
the trunk if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma\'am, could you step out of your
vehicle please! The woman steps out of
her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have
stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you open the trunk of your
car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty space.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma\'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do
not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma\'am, one of my officers told
me you didn\'t have a license, that you
stole this car, and that you murdered
and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman (Shocked & horrified): Bet the liar
told you I was
speeding, too.



Rate this Joke
(Added: 2005-04-07 Rating: 7.52 Votes: 49)

Submitted By: -- melanie_se@gmx.de
Affiliate Links 

Earn Cash Programs Links

Marketing Tools

Traffic  Generation Tools

Search Engine Tools

Softwares

Free Content

Click here to get the above

Get webmaster tools, free stuff, affiliate links, search engine, traffic  tools etc apart from astrology.

Visit Astraura

Choose  your Lucky gems or stones to boost fortune and prosper as Astraura Gems. Get a Gems Report

Lot of fun and free stuff is paced for all like soul mate for singles to find match, jokes, daily horoscope of different kinds, games, movies download etc. Visit Astraura.

 


Get a GoStats hit counter


 

 

Easy to remember URL for Astraura:  http://Zodiac.andmuchmore.com, http://Zodiac.resourcez.com, http://zodiac.web-freebies.com , http://astroguru.get.to and http://astraura.get.to .

 You were here because you searched one of these items.

  • Astraura has made  KP Hindu Vedic Astrology and Horoscope free online.
  • Casting horoscope has been made easy.
  • Horoscope, navamsa and horary charts, dasa, dhrishti, aspects, significator tables can be made online.
  • Besides, astrology  software tools were provided to erect ephemeris, almanac, panchang or panchangam.
  • All ayanamsa systems like Raman, Lahiri, Krishnamurthi Paddhati (spelt also Krishnamurti Padhdhati and called KP or K.P.), Sayana (Western), Vakya or Drik can use this page.
  • KP system also means nadi, stellar astrology or nakshatra jyothisham (jyotish, jyothish).
  • Numerology tools (Change Name to Get Luck) and I Ching predictions software tools has been provided in the website.
  • You can know your ascendant or lagna, nakshatram or birth star, janma rasi or moon sign by a click providing birth details.
  • You can look up longitudes and latitudes of prominent places easily online.

Visit Astraura KP Vedic Hindu Horoscope and Astrology for free online software tools and webmaster stuff.

Astraura | Free | software | tools | Astrology | HoroscopeKP | Vedic | Hindu | webmaster 

Suggestions and feedback to webmaster.                 Copyright:© Astraura Research Centre Astraura.tk